After 8yrs and 1 child together i want out do i put my feelings first or his?

i cheated on my man of 8yrs, when i did i knew that my love for him was not the same anymore, i dont justify my actions, and have never admited to him that i have cheated cause he will kill me! but i dont want to cont hurting him and myself, i just cant find the way to explain to a man thaat you have a child and home wit for all these years that your not happy with him anymore, and i cant help but feel that maybe i got involved wit him for all the wrong reasons at the time, and never really loved him the way he loved/loves me. I know everyone prob thinks im a horrible person and i feel the same about what im doing too, but i know what my true feelings are, not in denile about that i just dont know how to even begin this discussion.. i have been cheating with just 1 person and it stoped for about 8 months but now its happenin again and he and i really care about each other alot and i cant stop thinkin about him, i dont want to leave him and start another relationship wit this other person, i jus want the freedom of being with him when ever i want...i need help and i welcome all opinions even (even the negative) i knw will be many..